The World Has Gone Crazy.
Sometimes I say things that make no sense.
Sometimes I get nervous for no apparent reason.
When it happens to you, you call it “hormones”, “age” or maybe “the moon”.
Sometimes I avert my gaze and I don’t look straight in the eye.
When it happens to you, you call it “shame”, “a lie” or maybe it is just that you don’t want to see me.
Sometimes I can’t sleep; I can’t even get to sleep for a while.
When it happens to you, it’s the coffee, or not being able to get, rather than to sleep, to balanc
e work and life at the same time.
Sometimes, I can’t distinguish between what happened and what did not.
When it happens to you, you call it a ‘mistake’ and simply say, ‘Oh! Yes, for God’s sake’.
Sometimes, I think someone runs after me.
When it happens to you, you entertain yourself looking for that off button to calm your mind for a little while.
Sometimes I don’t remember to eat. When it happens to you, you claim not to have time to grasp a single bite.
Sometimes, people bother me; sometimes, loneliness.
Sometimes, a noise bothers me, a noise you don’t even hear.
Sometimes, I don’t move, and sometimes, I don’t stop moving.
Sometimes, I shake all over from taking medication, and sometimes, from not taking it.
Sometimes, sadness invades me, and sometimes, euphoria. Sometimes, I would like to control the one, sometimes the other, and sometimes, none.
Sometimes, I feel like a burden.
Sometimes, I get a discharge.
Sometimes, I forget things, and sometimes, ‘oh, if only I could forget them’!
Sometimes, I don’t recognize you, and sometimes, I wish I weren’t recognized.
Sometimes, you yell at me, and I don’t get why you get frustrated with me.
Sometimes, I’m the one who gets frustrated and yells at you.
Sometimes, you talk to me, and I don’t follow.
Sometimes, I follow you, and you don’t talk to me.
Sometimes, I don’t have the strength, or the drive, and I can’t leave the house. Sometimes, I don’t go in. Sometimes, I don’t even have one.
And that’s why, while I fight for my rights,
it seems like you are, always on the right path.
Sometimes, there are many times, and I am the crazy one.
Sometimes, there are fewer times, and it’s the world that has gone crazy.
Dr. Begoña San José
Winner of the first prize in storytelling organized by the Argia foundation for World Mental Health Day in defense of the rights of people with disabilities.